Double delicious! I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Duchess: Marie! [Grunting]. Naturellement! Scratch one butler. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. [ Chuckles ]Not as spry as I waswhen I was 80, eh? I hit her with an ax handle, burn her c*nt with a curling iron, put a fish hook through my cock, f*** her, kill her, and take a sh*t on her dead body! Jasmine: [singing] We're eventually getting married! Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. WebIn the film, Gottfried said hed heard the joke called The Aristocrats, The Sophisticates, and Blood Shit and Come and Eating Each Other Out and Fistfucking a Dog but Swimming, some of the way. Berlioz: I'll bet it's morethan a thousand. Duchess:I'll never forget you,Thomas O'Malley. So if you would be just so kind. ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. Georges Hautecourt: Evening. I was asleep a winkall day. She'd always say that we'rethe greatest treasure she could own. Duchess: Yes. [Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]. [Screen flashes on the last note of the music, but the white screen fades to the title in front of a black background]. Sue Kolinsky: Once for Hannukah he gave me a box of slim Tampax, and he says, "Leave them out so men will think you're really tight.". Thank you all. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Hold on, Kyle. I love 'em. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Whoa! [ Laughing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat. Clickety. Oh, sorry, my dear. Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. Duchess: Oh, no more, please. WebThis 19th-century aristocrat was a spoiled rich boy who never grew up and a man who would often take delight in other peoples misfortune. That's better. dvdsuper1. Ahh! July 28, 20058:25 PM. (The gargoyles burst their heads out from three sides of a window). I only wish that l--. O'Malley:Maybe just a short, sweetgoodbye would be easiest. They're eating dinner, and they just finish, and their maid comes in and she clears the plates. Which pets possessthe longest pedigree? He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" Ooh. As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Now don't be frightened. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. You know. Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. Thieves: [singing] Welcome to the Forty Thieves! The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Duchess:Berlioz, come back here. Duchess: Please, girls. Mangy tramps! Now I'll never get my hat Plan B. Napoleon: Ooh, whoo, heh. Look, Frou-Frou. You knowthe kids are bushed. [1] Gottfried quickly launched into the infamous [Laughing]Aren't you proud of me? Gilbert Gottfried: A lot of you are probably saying "Wait, wait, wait. O'Malley: No, no. Helpingbeautiful dame--uh, damsels in distressis my specialty. Duchess: Oh, Thomas, that was really brave of you. Duchess:Oh, darling, if,if only I could. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Look at that bridge! Those cats have got to go! Edgar Balthazar:Coming, Madame! My bad. Copyright 2023 Penske Business Media, LLC. [We see early pencil animations for the song, "Welcome to the Forty Thieves"]. O'Malley: I'll bet they're onthat magic carpet right now. Marie: But, mama, do wehave sparklingsapphire eyes that dazzle too? Duchess:No, not at all. Ooh! Coming! Duchess: Now, now, my darling. It's showtime! Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? Look at this! Oh, dear! [Smacking Lips]Delicious! Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. A family walks in, all-American family, blond hair, blue eyes, a little son, a little daughter, a little fluffy dog. I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House". Right? Love it. Come on! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Of course, Frou-Frou,I almost forgot. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette. Ready, everyone? Milkman: Sacrebleu! [Sniffling][Sloshing][Splat]Yeah! Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? The How are you doing that? Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". WebThe Aristocats! Now, run along downstairs. Toulouse: Is there anything we can do tohelp you,Mr. O'Malley, huh? Although the talent agent initially brushes them off as too 'cutesy', he is eventually persuaded to allow them to show him their act. You don't know the way! In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the So dysfunctional, it defies description. Well if a guy is fist f***ing his daughter, who's young, and her a**hole is pretty small, and this is a grown man with a big hand. Kittens? Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Someday, we might meeta tough alley cat. [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end. O'Malley: Are you sure we'reon the right street where you live? O'Malley: Hey there, bud! Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good day, sir. More details are available in the progress report. And, uh, let's see. Quick, kittens! Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! But that's a whole other story. WebThe Aristocrats "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up Revisit bob sagets take on the aristrocrats, one of the filthiest jokes. Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. Where's my hat? Maybe you fellon your head. Butler did it. [Laughing]I've some news straightfrom the horse's mouth,if you'll pardonthe expression, of course. Size nine-and-a-half. Good. Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. I'll think of a way. I'm gonna call it The Aristocrats. Duchess: Especially whenhe's marinated! Edgar Balthazar: Oh, another ringer, sir. They're Oxford shoes. Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. Only one comedian could rival the late Bob Sagets take on the classic Aristocrats joke: Gilbert Gottfried, the gravel-throated comedian who reveled in raunch who died at the age of 67. a one-wheeled haystack. [ Chuckling ]. Oh, what a horrible,horrible human! They're gone! O'Malley! Genie Chorus: [singing] There's a festival in Agrabah! "The Aristocrats Quotes." Oh, that's thatfamous restaurant. This joke may contain profanity. Doug Stanhope: So it's finally just a whole prolapsed rectum. And they have two children, Betsy and Timmy. His name is O'Toole. Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. Why, oh, why, is he allowing this to happen!" Aristocrats Joke Text. Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. Upward and onward! Yes. Waving a scythe, Edgar chases O'Malley up a ladder. I'mRoquefort by the way, I need your help,Duchess! Right. You know, your country chateau? Ow! YeahAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat's rightAnd I'm very proud of that (Spoken)Yeah! And don't worry. And aristocatic flair in whatthey do and what they say. Madame isexpecting you, sir. Mark Elliott: "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves"! We need a man around the house. The Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever. Scat Cat:Hold it, cats! Why didnt he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants and saying, This is totally wrong. Uhoh, yes. In the South Park version, Cartman tells the other boys the joke his grandfather told him while at the school bus stop. The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Sleep well. You've just rescued Thomas, right? WebComedians don't tell jokes. "Oh, we're N*gger C*nts. Comics Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette are in the fall-over-laughing camp. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, uh-- May Igive you a hand, sir? This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. I've made the headlines." A slip of the handand it's off to dreamland. AND BAM! Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? I simplywish to have the cats inherit first. The zygote goes through a process of becoming an. T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent's office. Napoleon: Wait a minute, that's funny. Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff? Startmentioning name, rodent. O'Malley:Well, girls, see ya around. Frollo: [To Phoebus, unimpressed] Look at that disgusting display. Naturellement! Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar? They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. Duchess Oh, how nice. Oh, gracious! They get the- towait. Kittens! Thomas is, a dear friend of ours. They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. Steady, girl. [Grunting]Lafayette! Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. Quotes.net. Duchess: [Laughs]"Old picklepuss who"? 1 Mar. Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! [The movie logo appears] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay. Lafayette: Oh, cricket bugsdon't wear shoes, man. O'Malley:Boy, your eyesare like sapphires. Yes! The 200 Greatest Singers of All Time Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. Duchess: Marie, darling. [We cut to the thieves pointing their swords around Aladdin, Abu and Iago to the beat of the music] Taking whatever we please! I had the most horribledream about them. The- this family walks into a talent agency. [Gasping][Laughing] It's only a tree. He hit me on the head. Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? Berlioz? That ain't. You know Edgaris so fond of all of usand takesvery good care of us. Frou-Frou neighs. Release date Who do you want me to sue, eh? [Metro TrainWhistle Blowing] Oh no, train! [O'Malley pounces. It wasn't a dream, was it? Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! O'Malley: Well, some humansare like that, Duchess. Otto Peterson: [talking through his ventriloquist's dummy] Have you ever noticed that when you kick your girlfriend in the C*NT she calls the cops? We have guys f***ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader. One squeakywheelon the front, it sounds like. Napoleon:Now this is no timeto turn chicken. Just we two. Ow! Toulouse: Gee, Marie, why'd youhave to fall off the bridge? Now, you want to grow up to be lovely,charming ladies and gentlemen. Use your karate chop action! Robin Williams: It's a kindler, gentler genie! Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen]That's stick together. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Marie, my little one,you're going to be as beautifulas your mother. O'Malley:[offscreen]Hey, cool it, you little tiger. [offscreen]Swing on down here, Daddy. [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. Right off your cuff. What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. O'Malley: Well, now, uh--What I meant-- You see, l--. Have you seen Gallagher? The horse blocks the road. Mother's going towork for Mr. O'Malley. It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. O'Malley: [Gasping] Help? O'Malley: You know something? Carrie Fisher: My mother was a golden shower queen. Your father is trapped within their world. [The screen fades to black on the final note of the song, then in the black background, we see yellow subtitles reading "Coming to Theaters June 21st"] Coming to theaters June 21st! Frogs: [singing] Needeep, croak, ribbit, croak, needeep. Roquefort:Don't come in! Take that! Not one single clue at all. Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? Marie:Mama! The cast (in order of appearance) opening song vocals maurice chevalier madame adelaide bonfamille. Andy Richter: Then I move my wiener back and forth, until stuff shoots out. Penn Jillette: What do you call an act like that? [Chuckling, Sniffing] So, what is that appetizing smell? Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! Bakin' Bacon with Macon Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? The fun begins now on video! I havea cracker with me. Yeah. Toulouse: Get her, Berlioz! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Yes, yes, of course,but you know what to do. And, Berlioz,well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman. Genie Chorus: [singing] They're eventually getting married at the festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!! Come on. Scat Cat:Come on, cats! In the 2005 documentary the aristocrats, bob saget stole the show with a wildly inappropriate take on a classic joke. Marie: Oh noI wouldn'ttake up much room. [Grunting]Lafayette. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Toulouse: I'm a tough alley cat too. O'Malley: [sighs] Duchess, there's something I need to ask you. Which pets know bestall the gentle social graces? Edgar, old chap, get used tothe finer things of life. The Aristocrats Sketch Toulouse:[offscreen]I told ya it was Edgar. [baby begins to cry] Yeah I didn't like it that much myself. 1 of 3 The Artistocrats Show More Show Less 2 of 3 Co-creator Penn Jillette arrives at the premiere of the film "The Aristocrats", Tuesday, July 26, 2005, in New York. He was like our rehearsal director when dad and my brother weren't there, and my mother and my nana weren't there. Oh, dear. You don't suppose--. The real joke is, it's not a We're geese. Lafayette:Okay,man, let's charge. Duchess: Now that will do, honey. Lafayette [offscreen]I got him, I got him, I got him! Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! Clopin: Up there, high, high in the dark bell tower lives the mysterious bell ringer. O'Malley: Uh-huh, yeah. She loves us very much. SMASH FLIX. The talent agent goes, Hmm, thats an interesting act,' Gottfried says. Now, Toulouse, you goand start on with your painting. Beda Tre. Amelia: And don't worry about form, sir. Andy's birthday festival's been movedto today. Duchess: Over here, darling. They perform sexual acts on each other that are so depraved anyone with a sense of human decency would call them unspeakable. And for their ta-da, they tell the agent their act is called, The Aristocrats. In the film, Gottfried said hed heard the joke called The Aristocrats, The Sophisticates, and Blood Shit and Come and Eating Each Other Out and Fistfucking a Dog but then, he said, the punchline didnt work as well cause there was really no contrast., Gottfrieds version of the joke was one of the filthiest in the movie, topped only by Saget because people still pictured him at the time as the family man from Full House. He could be a longshoreman. So the talent agent says, "All right, you've got two minutes." It's just, "Here we go folks.". Let's play train. This clip was included in a documentary about the joke, also called The Aristocrats, which featured various actors and comedians retelling their versions of the joke, as well as shedding some light on its origins. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. Are you all right? And then the rest of the band's gonna jump up and we're gonna sing "Shine Your Shoes, Shine Your Shoes." Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. WebThe aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. Our poor owner,in that big mansion where we lived,all alone. And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. Milkman:Sapristi! Brian Cummings: Coming this summer, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Ow! Roquefort:You're darn tootin'I'm on the level! O'Malley runs and Edgar chases him. We gotta split! Marie: Mama,l guess I had a nightmareand fell out of bed. Bonsoir! Scat Cat: Well, Marie my little lady,let me elucidate here. Mama, I'm afraid! We give the first few rows garbage bags. You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. How did they develop this act? Girls. Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: That's right. [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! Billy: After I went to a haunted mansion, I traveled into the future, and hung out with famous movie stars, and then I was attacked by aliens, got caught in a tidal wave and went all the road to China! Alright? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! "Roquefort". It really is muchtoo heavy for you, Madame. But I'm a mouse! Oh, my gracious! The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. Edgar Balthazar: The police say it wasa professional, masterful job. It's "Roquefort". O'Malley: Hey, Scat Cat, dude! Scat Cat:Mousy, you just struck out. Mm. Lewis Black: That's, that's actually, a really great idea to pitch to a network. Two cats throw a harness from the hay loft, encircling him. The Aristocrats Joke Script. Thief #2: [singing] Pull up an easy chair! Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette In addition to detailing the history of the joke,. [Offscreen]Good riddance. [to Roquefort] Strike one. For other uses, see, "Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes", "Diving Deep Into the Dirtiest Joke Ever in 'The Aristocrats', "After a 9/11 Joke Bombed, Gilbert Gottfried Told the Dirtiest Joke in Comedy", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Aristocrats&oldid=1135068379, Short description is different from Wikidata, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 22 January 2023, at 12:47. Duchess: Oh, I'm delightedto meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat. 2023. Mysterious Cat-napperAbducts Family of Cats." Wait for me! Where did the blood come from? [We cut to a pencil animation test of Genie turning into a construction worker]. Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? [Snarling,Hissing]. Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! The Aristocats! [Chuckling][Giggling, Groaning]Mm-mm. And I come after the cats. "Slip of the hand, dreamland.". WebWatch more:Gilbert Gottfried solves a murder mystery at Disney World: https://youtu.be/URuNJvtlGT0Gilbert Gottfrieds Dead Pet Turtle: Hole in the left sole,it sounds like. This little guy's on the level. An amazing three-dimensional adventure. He's beenmarinated in it. Oh! Oh, are you all right? Here I come! Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, my, my dear. Now, now, my darlings. Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. So much likeour own dear England. O'Malley: Aloha. It's a totally different show. Cheer up. O'Malley: Of course not. Berlioz: [offscreen]Yeah. You eitherare or you're not. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Backtrack a little. This joke was met with boos and jeers of "too soon." [The camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black]. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Come along, Duchess. Yeah. Nothin'. Roquefort:Oh, now, wait a minute,fellas. I just thought of that and that's unbelievable. And I'm gonna shine my shoes with my vagina juices, put 'em back on, tap-tap-tap, do a split, and that's the act! We're almost home. Abigail: Gracious me. Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? The father says to the talent agent, "Sir, our family has an amazing act. I never would have guessed. Edgar was in it. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, come now, Georges. Mark Elliott: This summer, share the feeling. Hold on, Kyle. It was my favorite role. [Clears Throat,Muttering]Aha. To my cats. I got a million of 'em. I've had all the help I can take. You just hide over there and youleave the rest to J. Thomas O'Malley. Because with usshe never felt alone. We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. Why, you'll, you'll wake upthe whole neighborhood! WebThe Aristocrats is a terminal movie. Duchess:No, no, no, I like it. The mother starts taking her blouse off. Afraid,I guessyou know best,and I'm gonnamiss you, baby. Roquefort: Mm. My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $2.80! Duchess: Marie, darling. Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Duchess: Well, it is most importantthat we get back to Paris where we lived. Now, just a few dunks. Wendy Liebman: The Cocksucking Motherf***ers. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. Mario Cantone: In my show, I'm gonna sit on top of the piano and fit the whole thing in my vagina. Duchess:Very good, darling. Edgar opens the door. The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released in 2005. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents an all-new animated motion picture event. O'Malley: No trouble at all,little princess. But I was so surethat I heard them. Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. Hmm? All right. Nice doggy! Toulouse: Females never fiight fair. [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". O'Malley: Oh, thank you. Duchess: Edgar did thisto us? Absolutely. SUBTITULOS ESPAOL Uncle Waldo: Dreadful! Toulouse, where are you? Duchess: Perhaps! Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[Humming]. Very poetic. Toulouse. Young cat. You know it was the night of your grand premierethat we first met, remember? The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. A few seconds later, Hugo comes to life, spitting a bird's nest out of its mouth]. [7] It was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette. And that was my vacation. Kyle: [after Cartman finishes the joke] I don't get it. Beau Weaver: Here are special previews of the next Disney animated masterpieces coming to theaters. Roquefort:[ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I've heard your name. Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man. Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou,my pretty steed. Joe Franklin: A man walks into a talent agent's office and says that he has an act Kyle: Cart-, Cart-, Cartman, I don't want to Cartman: [cutting off Kyle] Kyle! This joke typically has these elementsalternative versions may change this form. He says, "What do you do?" He's got a very huge wiener. Georges Hautecourt: Wha--? Amelia: No! The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. Get those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, okay?! You guys wanna hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me? "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. Edgar throws the pitchfork at him, hitting him against the wall. You're too much. Both of you, go ahead. You never hear a physicist going, "It's a muon, you c*nt!". The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. Mark Elliott: The woman who would open his eyes to adventures he never imagined. It received publicity when it was used by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner in September 2001. https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_aristocrats_144090, https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_aristocrats_quotes_144090. Mark Elliott: Lead Aladdin into his biggest adventure ever. That guy's dynamite. He eats stuff off her face. Hey, there it goes! Please? [Screen fades from black, revealing the Jim Henson Video logo]. Darlings,now you just stay here,and I'll go and I'lllook for Toulouse. [offscreen]Any last words? Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. Very good. Duchess: Good evening,Monsieur Roquefort. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. Hallelujah! And this time, ha,you'll never come back. We want to hear it. No, it's less than that. Toulouse:Yeah. [Laughing]My two favorite nooses! All Rights reserved. See what happens to Hitler's dick. Toulouse: Frogs? Get out! Berlioz: Hey, do you really havea magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir? [Screen fades to reveal more clips] Aladdin and Jasmine's dreams are eventually coming true. Peppo:Oh, we didn't mean-a to,to rough a-you, squeaky! O'Malley: Well, of course. The Aristocrats- Not Telling The Joke. The Aristocats! O'Malley jumps into the trunk]. Thank goodnessit was only a dream. Oh, they'll need help. A very enthusiastic--. Next In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. Ooh, it's them shoes again. Children, where are you? Duchess! Let's see. I remember that Ifainted. Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. Its release marks the completion and end of something, or perhaps several things, though what, exactly, is difficult to determine or WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Alright? Something horrible is happening. Billy Bunny: [sings] That is what we really do so, yow! The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". They've got a paper route, they go to school and then you f*** 'em. [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. I just love them. O'Malley: Trouble? The Muppets are hitting the high seas Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video presents from Jim Henson Productions Mark Elliott: And the rowdiest crew ever. But, knows where what's at? And bring back f***ing major world leaders of the past 60 years, like Hitler. We're just a pairof sentimental old fools. Look out for Edgar! Let's move, move, move! What made them think that this this was entertaining? Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. Which pets are knownto never show their claws? Buzz Lightyear: Hey! O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. ". O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. They're in the trunk! Georges Hautecourt: [Chuckling]Don't panic, Edgar. The details of the joke change with every telling (and Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, justhold on! South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. I was on his show he said it wasn't a taped show, but we, like, did a show yeah, it was his office. [Hiccupping]Look. O'Malley:Hey! Kittens! [The workers take the trunk and drive away. Toulouse: But you know what? O'Malley: How tough! And so, you see,we can't leave her alone. When they're seenupon an airing. Answer me please. How did they develop this act! WhyEdgar? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Well, as you know, my friend,I have no living relatives,and naturally, I wantmy beloved catsto be alwayswell whatever cared for. Abigail: You really did quite wellfor a beginner. Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff this happen! His butt ], revealing the Jim Henson Video logo ] so first, you 'll never my! For Buzz ] and for Sega Genesis and Super NES, `` Welcome to the Forty Thieves ]. Is called, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians a kindler gentler! ', Earlier in the dark bell tower lives the mysterious bell ringer was really brave of are... Would I find my stuff darling, if you 'll never get hat! Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents an all-new animated motion picture event you?! 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