"Sincere thanks for the big sacrifices you've made for our nation.". The owner of this website does not guarantee offers on this site, and all offers should be viewed as recommendations only. And so today is my time to quit. Check out these funny military sayings to add some humor to a talk celebrating someone who is retiring from service. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. . An Army Drill Sergeant took some recruits the the mess hall. If you have to give a speech for a retiring veteran, consider these military retirement quotes which range from inspiring to funny. Now, lets try it again! Let me say that again, leadership is getting people to want to do what needs to be done. After how phenomenal you made me sound, Im kind of thinking about just taking a bow and ending this ceremony right now. The Marine took off his boots and began to stretch out. Thanks Matt. Help them buy a home and get started on a path Present it in a sober way such that your audience visualizes and relates themselves with each and every experience. However, once trust is lost it is nearly impossible to regain. continue to believe in them. Best of luck in your new journey in Georgia. IT'S TRULY A GREAT DAY TO BE A SOLDIER. effective relationships and mission accomplishment. "You deserve thanks every day for your service.". Marine Approved is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associate Program. Im especially grateful that my mentor and first Missile Maintenance Team Chief, CMSgt (ret) Tony Bales is here. ', Shall we allow our audacious enemies to violate with impunity the territory of the Republic? Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. You can help make those dreams It is just like every other day. For more information about us or joining the team, check out the About Us tab. They believe in what they are doing and all I ask is that you For example, the words that CMSgt Tony Klingensmith shared at his retirement ceremony back in 1997 inspired me as a young Airman; he said I used to clean the bathrooms in this very same building; I always prided myself on having the cleanest shitters. Some people ask why we still need nuclear weapons; some ask how do you stay motivated to work on a weapon system not used since the two atomic bombs were dropped on Japan in 1945; the bombs that brought an end to World War II. When I retired I was asked by a co-worker how many years experience I had? Retirement has nothing to do with my age. A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. But the key to a great retirement speech is to tell one or maximum of two stories and go all out with that. thats all they want. And in Its hard to describe what its like working topside on a nuclear launch facility in a blizzard in sub-zero temperatures. I had you as my life preservers. These funny quotes about retiring are hilarious observations on what retired life is really like. It will be time to hear it for the comrades and the friendship.Nothing forges good friendship better than service in our forces. General Stuck in the Mud American Army Soldier Yarn The Nutty Soldier American General Reinwald Tale Favourite Funny Military and Service Jokes Letter Home from Funny Army stories Read More You will not. Teach the world that a malediction attends those that violate the territory of the Great People. Some of the jokes on this list you may not fully understand or appreciate unless you were actually in the military, but most of them I think anyone can appreciate. Comment: Lots of early acknowledgements of people but a passionate speech about the ethos and opportunities of the military. Whether you're writing a retirement roast speech or just putting a funny note in a greeting card, these are some hilarious ways to congratulate coworkers on retirement: delivered 30 September 1993, Arlington, Virginia. The generation that is now blessed to serve will do its duty and ensure that our nation remains strong. . The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. On January 6, 2017, I bid farewell to the Air Force. You could then bring it forward in time to how things are today or a step along the way. Mature leaders consider how their orders, directions, and good ideas effect their people. Ingredients: 1 Large 100% Cotton Bath Towel 1 100% Cotton Hand Towel 1 100% Cotton Washcloth 1 "Officially Retired" Coffee Mug filled with Candy 1 Bingo Card 1 Bingo Marker 1 Bridge Score Tablet with Pencil 1 "Retired" Bumper Sticker 1 Pair Dice Play Money 1 "Retired" Pin on Button All Arranged on a Tray & Sealed with Shrink-Wrap & with a Big Bow. It was very nice. They did just enough not to get yelled at. More than just a wish, our enemies have the capability and desire. The staff were all invited to a special afternoon tea to honor him. Retirement can be a time of mixed emotions. Advertisement 4. Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. It might sound crazy that Americans could be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or volunteers, but its true. But, Id really hate to waste this speech I wrote, so Ill take just a few more minutes of your time. Brandon, that was an amazing speech. "Train your sailors not only to be a sailor but how to be a man, a woman, a father, a mother, a friend. (This is a great time to draw attention to some deserving colleagues.). For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. Our 6 Foot Standard Table Throw - Full Color Front Panel is made from durable 100 percent polyester material that is flame . forever, but it has not changed their dreams. I had destroyed all trust; they no longer told me how they were doing, shared any personal details, or gave any extra effort. In his free time, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear. And that includes many We should take nothing for granted.". After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them There are three rules in this mess hall- Shut up! You had tents?" Joke #6 USAF: Birds USA: Choppers USN: Helos USMC: OHH! Without the responsibilities of standing duty, getting underway, and 60+ hour work weeks, I was afforded the time to reflect upon my Naval career, and in particular, Continue reading "Military Retirement Ceremony: It's Not About You" Consequently, we havent had to detonate one since 1945; they are accomplishing their mission; keeping our enemies from using their nuclear option each and every day. ever known. This summer my family and I plan to move to Atlanta, Georgia. - US Marine Corps, There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. . When I retire in my speech will be a few examples of my catch phrase it seemed like a good idea at the time a number of stories of amusing things that I did, which on reflection were not so clever. "Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.". . Summary This retirement speech given by a politician speaks of his memories over the years and thanks all those who contributed to his success. Dr. Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, defines emotional maturity as the balance between courage and consideration. Comment: Pay attention to his opening and skillful use of humor throughout. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. You want your last words to be memorable. Help them. The excerpts illustrate inspiring or creative ways to handle certain aspects of a military retirement speech. I want you to enjoy your day, our day. Comment: Great metaphors and good use of humor mixed with emotionally rich content. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and. In fact, 2 years ago a reporter from New York magazine asked those very questions while doing a story on nuclear weapons here at F. E. Warren. All you dummies fall out. As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. Hi. Jeff and I go all the way back to Tech School, and he was the wings best MMT cageman back in the late 90s. If your first version is 25 minutes, edit ruthlessly and you'll have a stronger, punchier speech. The one who is making the retirement message for teachers should be very careful and should include stories of the retiring teacher's life at the school. Getting back to Chief Bales for a moment, he was whats often know as a hard-ass. Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, Secretary Panetta, General Dempsey, distinguished guests, including some of my counterparts who -- from around the world that I've worked so hard with . The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis.- From a post-war debriefing of a German General, Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.- Unknown, We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Great jokes, Im an inactive Marine (58 years) but still get a kick out of this type of humor. From the commanding general to the enlisted soldier, here are some military retirement speeches from different branches that can serve as inspiration for your retirement speech. When I joined the company- (Say when you joined the company, how you felt about joining the company and what you aimed to achieve when you started. Comment: A wonderful blend of humor and passion. Several excellent opportunities to do what? To quit she replied. . He always said if I join the military to choose the Air Force, namely because we have better food! You would think that we would put a lot of time into what to say. Audio AR-XE mp3 of Address. Hire them. There is no one in this room who has not played some significant part in breaking my fall. "It is better to live rich than to die rich.". Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. I almost always feel inclined, when I happen to say anything to soldiers, to impress upon them in a few brief remarks the importance of success in this contest. One liner tags: attitude, motivational, retirement, work. (pointing at the sky). When expanded it provides a list of search options that will switch the search inputs to match the current selection. Hence, before presenting it in front of your listeners, rehearse as much as you can. here are my key gems of wisdom: Comment: This summary reviews five So long for now. Sure, they did what they were told out of fear. Its funny we work all our lives and in many ways our retirement speech is the last thing we have to do. Airman: "The worst was when the air conditioner in our tent broke and it was 110 outside!" Soldier: "WTF, you had air conditioners?" Marine: "Wait, stop. *********************************************************************. The second group is distinguished servants of all nations We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. Unknown, Marines I see as two breeds, Rottweilers or Dobermans, because Marines come in two varieties, big and mean, or skinny and mean. If you have any questions get in contact with one of the team via the about page. Thanks for being here Jeff. This sample retirement speech is designed to be given by a friend and colleague of the retiree. Talk through your many promotions. I'm not so sure You who pretended to work Brilliant strategist to do as little as possible Ah, sure you're going to be in good shape and healthy during your retirement Not too worn, little trick Enjoy it!, I have never liked working. If we cant stay here alive, then let us stay here dead., I dont want to get any messages saying, I am holding my position. We are not holding a goddamned thing. End with a strong conclusion that has an emotional punch. However, try to avoid getting carried away thanking 50 individuals; your talk is for more than just a few people. No matter what task I was doing, I tried to do it the best I could he said. Work like you dont need money, love like youll never get hurt, youve got to dance like no one is watchin, Its gotta come from the heart if you want it to work! You can then describe with affection some of the characters that you have worked with, some of the trains, or engines, or some fond moments you have had. - Samuel Johnson. It is not merely for today, but for all time to come that we should perpetuate for our childrens children this great and free government, which we have enjoyed all our lives. It's an honor to stand before you here today. I have ordered that all plans and instructions dealing with further withdrawal are to be burned, and at once. The goal is to enjoy these years to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? "John always arrived late at the office, but he made up for it by leaving early". We will stand and fight here. Decorate Your Venue . . When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten. I am, instead, giving a vote of thanks. Comment: Lots of attribution in the opening but the general offers inspirational remarks about what military service means. The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. classmates, old friends, warriors in group 3 and anyone carrying a plastic cup An Airman, Soldier, and Marine are sitting around talking about hardships they faced on their last deployment. Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. He looked over at the Soldier and said when are we going to stop playing these games, spitting in each others boots and pissing in each others drinks, its so juvenile!. Funny retirement speech sample Dear Colleague, You are leaving today to retire. How did you like my speech? he asked. Cummings Finally, thank you to Danielle and Marika for flying down from Oregon. And I hope the day will come soon when all parts of our society do for young minorities what the Army and the other armed services had been doing for young men and women of all color over the years.". On behalf of the company and my colleagues, I wish you good luck and full success in future endeavors. . Don't Get Nervous Card Messages Retirement Messages 45 Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes. "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Fred Rogers 3. It rained last night and the rain leaked all over the tent. I received the package you sent yesterday; thank you it was very nice. cause for many years. The next day a different team was sent to finish installing the warhead and other components to bring the site back on alert. USMC: OHH! But, it takes actual human beings to accomplish the mission: we are sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers; American Airmen. That is my wisdom after 20 years. But also sometimes fear about the future and what will come next. She is kind, smart, and hilarious. I enjoyed the humor section quite a bit. "You have to put off being young until you can retire."-Author Unknown. I go to work from 9pm to midnight and again from 3am to 6am. A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! He deviated slightly from our original text when he gave the speech but was happy with the all the . In between those bouts lie small but essential periods of achievement. I havent had time to write hardly anybody. 9 years ago Rebecca and I had no idea of the journey we were about to undertake, only that we wanted to do it together. Later I learned that I was emotionally immature. The setting was his company staffroom. Say how the . They all originally set out to become Marines. -Franklin P. Jones It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. Alison, joined by her son, at her husband's recent retirement ceremony. Sample Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen Today I am not looking for votes. These forward-looking quotes, on the other hand, are guaranteed to make you smile. War has changed them and their loved ones One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. God willing, that goal will be achieved., There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. But in the 9,600 square-mile missile fields and prairies where our weapons stand coiled and ready. Thank you Captain Provencio for your kind words and for officiating my ceremony. After telling Chief Bales about my predicament, he and his wonderful wife Nancy graciously agreed to dog-sit for a few weeks until I could move into base housing. It's posted here with his permission. Keep your promises, even when things get messy, 2. Funny Retirement Quotes. It would take me longer than time allows to thank everyone that has made positive impacts on my life and career. OHH OHOH! 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? 2. Now Fridays arent the best day of the week anymore they all are! General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Easter Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Most of you would agree that our mission is as important as ever. Its an honor to stand before you here today. Last night a Country and Western singer came here. His service began in 1966 when as a 20-year-old-man he was drafted into fighting in the Vietnam War. And, before I get too far along, thank you to my loving wife Rebecca for supporting me these 9 and years. A collection of amusing military yarns from generals down to new recruits. Good Bye." But when you really boil it down, here are my key gems of wisdom: 1. Love Herb. I share this letter because each generation must kindle the flame of freedom. Every military branch thinks that theyre the best, the most important, and in their own way the hardest working. Im going to tell you something my EPRs left out. You know, one where you wished they would get in a car accident on the way to work? flame of freedom, Dont be the leader people hope get Some of the jokes on this list I first read and on their websites. 80.58 % / 439 votes. It's truly an honor to be delivering this speech in front of all of you. By Gen. McKiernan July 23, 2009. - Jonathan Clements. .". So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret Jeff Flake retirement speech Watch it for: How to tie what he did to a larger purpose (Democracy) Kobe Bryant Watch it for: Mix of gratitude, motivation, and looking towards the future of the next generation Judy Middeler Watch it for: Relaxed delivery, great stories of time in teaching Randy Pausch's Last Lecture Martin Dempsey - September 25 2015 - US Army, "I have both mentors and proteges here. 4. I think we made a pretty great team on the headquarters staff!
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